Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
