No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
