I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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