I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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