I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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