My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
