he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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