I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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