We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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