What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
