I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
