i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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