Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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