I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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