that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
