so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
