awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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