Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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