It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
