I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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