So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
