I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
