In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
