wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
