She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
