This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
