Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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