I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
