then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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