Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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