I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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