he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
