I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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