He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
this boner is exhausting
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
