i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
