i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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