no, he came in my armpit
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
