if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i will never coherently bang her
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So squirting runs in the family.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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