i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
