the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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