fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
