How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
