This is not my ceiling
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
