this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
