I'm eating all of the evidence.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
