Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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