Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
