O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
