i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
