i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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