I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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